Nykalily Dear

& roughly 30 makes a month
& I've felt so many sets of 12. & roughly 30 all.

At 28 years, those 30's fade into the murk. 30 after 30 after 30 after.

& how many sets of 30 have you lived?

& another 30 is roughly the lifespan of the fly. Their month a book with a solid beginning, middle, & end.

& I can't imagine what I'd do with that roughly 30, my only 30.

All these 30's pass by faster than I can ever tell, & soon it's been 12.

& how would I even live if those 30's were just one? Would it make my middle poignant? & does it end with a bang? It's no consequence.

& I always figured the day I go will be ""& whimpering"".

& I once knew a soul.
& She told me
"when I die, I won't be remembered by anybody"

& when I go, I want this body burnt "

& I felt unnerved
cause I loved you.
& they'll scatter the ashes to the heartless breeze.
How many 30's will it have been then? I miss you.

& How many times I feel 30s in 12s?
& how many 12s is that?
& The land seems like it's going hard-up for 12s lately
& there's only so many 30s for anybody.

& I used to be scared of turning to ashes
but it now feels fine.

& Maybe 30s enough,
maybe after as many 12s, some rest.

Does not the fly live 30 enough ?
& how many more should I need to be sated?

There are only so many 12s
& the end times were always.

& you told me "Zen"
Since We're already heading that way. & we always had been anyhow.

& during your 30s & 12s, Remember to breathe.

Cause even the flies fuck.